Essays on limerence, anxious attachment, compulsive checking, and what happens in the space between urge and action.
Anxious attachment is a nervous system pattern, shaped by early experience, in which relational uncertainty triggers a consistent set of behaviors: hypervigilance to partner signals, compulsive checking, reassurance-seeking, and difficulty maintaining felt security even when the evidence supports it. Attachment…
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Anxious attachment is a nervous system pattern, shaped by early experience, in which relational uncertainty triggers a consistent set of behaviors: hypervigilance to partner signals, compulsive checking, reassurance-seeking,…
anxious attachmentRelationship anxiety at night is harder — not because you are weaker in the evening, but because the conditions that allowed you to manage it during the day…
compulsive checkingStopping yourself from sending a text you’ll regret is hardest in the moment the urge is strongest — when it’s already typed, the pull feels necessary, and part…
limerenceObsessing over someone is an involuntary, intrusive pull toward a specific person that persists despite your efforts to redirect attention — returning even when you are distracted, have…
practitionersA between-session support tool for therapists is an app that meets a client inside the exact moment an urge, spiral, or compulsive check happens — not one that…
anxious attachmentReassurance seeking in relationships is the repetitive urge to ask for confirmation — that you’re loved, that nothing is wrong, that you haven’t been abandoned — even when…
urge awarenessUrge surfing for relationship anxiety is a dialectical behavior therapy-based mindfulness technique that lets emotional urges — the pull to check their profile, re-read the messages, send the…
anxious attachmentYou already know you shouldn’t. You know it won’t help. You know what you’ll find — or worse, what you won’t find — and you know how it…
urge awarenessThere is a moment you might not know exists yet. It is the gap between urge and action — the space between the pull toward your phone, the…
anxious attachmentYou’ve already read it. You know what it says. And yet you open the thread again. Re-reading messages – old texts, a conversation that ended badly, something they…
