Essays on limerence, anxious attachment, compulsive checking, and what happens in the space between urge and action.
You keep checking if they’ve read your message because an unread status leaves an open question your nervous system is built to resolve — and checking again is the fastest way to feel like you’re doing something about it, even…
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Obsessing over someone is an involuntary, intrusive pull toward a specific person that persists despite your efforts to redirect attention — returning even when you are distracted, have…
practitionersBetween-session support tools are resources a client uses outside appointments to carry the work of therapy into daily life. The most useful ones meet the client in the…
anxious attachmentReassurance seeking in relationships is the repetitive urge to ask for confirmation — that you’re loved, that nothing is wrong, that you haven’t been abandoned — even when…
urge awarenessUrge surfing for relationship anxiety is a dialectical behavior therapy-based mindfulness technique that lets emotional urges — the pull to check their profile, re-read the messages, send the…
anxious attachmentYou already know you shouldn’t. You know it won’t help. You know what you’ll find — or worse, what you won’t find — and you know how it…
urge awarenessThere is a moment you might not know exists yet. It is the gap between urge and action — the space between the pull toward your phone, the…
anxious attachmentYou’ve already read it. You know what it says. And yet you open the thread again. Re-reading messages – old texts, a conversation that ended badly, something they…
limerenceLimerence and love can coexist. You can love someone and feel limerence for them at the same time, and you can love a partner while feeling limerence for…
anxious attachmentYou have already looked. You know nothing has changed. And yet you are back — refreshing their profile, opening the thread again, checking to see if they have…
limerenceIf you’re here because one person takes up most of your thoughts, and you check their profile even after promising yourself you won’t, there is a name for…
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